Broccoli Bangup

serves 4-6 broccoli lovers, or 12-20 party goers

1 huge bowl of broccoli florets (more than you think you’ll eat)
1/3c bacon bits (fresh or your favorite mass-produced brand)
2 small containers lemon yogurt, OR plain yogurt plus 2-4T of sweetener, fake or real
1 lemon, juice and zest
1/4c red wine vinegar
1/4c raisins
1c walnuts
2T brown sugar
salt, kosher or sea

Buy so much broccoli that the people in line at the grocery store think you have “a problem”. Chop into florets. Or just cheat and buy the 3lb bag from Costco, but cut those up into bite-sized pieces, too. Put in the hugest bowl you have and make sure there’s at least a little room to mix later.

Toast walnuts: put walnut halves/pieces in a frying pan and toast on medium – about 5-15 minutes. Add 2T of brown sugar when about half done and let that form little crystally things on the nuts. Stir constantly to not burn. Put in bowl in freezer to cool for a few minutes. Chop.

Combine raisins, vinegar, juice of lemon, zest, and lemon yogurt. Pour over broccoli and mix to coat thoroughly. If really dry, add more vinegar. Taste so that it’s not too puckery. If it is, add some sugar.

Once completely mixed/coated, let rest 1-24 hours. When ready to serve, stir in the chopped toasted walnuts and the bacon bits. Bonus: Totally outdo yourself and top with those crunchy onion bits like used for green bean casserole.

All the “cool kids” were saying that bacon jumped the shark nearly 2 years ago – the whole “let’s put bacon in everything!!!” is done/over/tired.

Sure, bacon is tasty.  But as a fad it definitely hit hard (even the post-fad engendered some anger) and maybe, just maybe, the shark-jumpage will be accelerated with the whole nasty flu business going on.

Yes, yes, I know you can’t get it by EATING pork.  But who isn’t going to come away from the whole situation without at least associating something big, threatening, and potentially pretty disruptive to those pink carriers of delicious meaty treats?  See what I mean?

Call to grab a seat and have a fantastic family-style meal with wine and probably more pig than you’ve et in quite some time.  The menu is below, call 884-3860 for a reservation and come hungry!

Tuesday:: Bacon, Glorious Bacon (today)  $35 +tax +grat  6pm  Seats left!!

Bacon-popped popcorn

JJ’s darn-near-world-famous Deviled eggs w/ sweet & spicy bacon

Bacon-wrapped blue cheese-stuffed figs

Classic B(acon)LT sandwiches

Bacon mac&cheese

Spinach w/ bacon vinaigrette

Swedish bacon fat cookies

Bacon & chocolate chip ice cream

Bacon, meet Donut. Maple, meet Bacon. Now, you kids don’t get into too much trouble, you hear? Hey, hey, keep your crispy fried crust away from cold homemade ice cream! It might drip as it melts, leaving wisps of steam to escape into the fragrant air all around the plate.

Uh-oh. Looks like Deb the amazing pastry chef has orchestrated a most unholy melange of a dessert, called the Maple Bacon Donut, hopefully a permanent resident at Nob Hill Bar & Grill. To add compliment to curiosity it goes for the phenomenal bargain of five bucks. Doesn’t a molten crapola cake at some Italian chain restaurant go for the same price? I rest my case.

Despite that, I still had to take a snapshot of the little mascot on the counter between the drink station and the dining room – is its name “bacon bits”, or is it meant to indicate the availability of additional toppings to accompany those beans?  I might not find out unless I go back for another visit, and that certainly could happen….